I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
