White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
