I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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