But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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