Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
We need a shit load of segways right now
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
