whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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