You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
