He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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