Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
zippers are such a cool invention
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
