OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I wish you could order shots online.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
