I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i out mim tonsoeep
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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