i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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