I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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