I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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