hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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