epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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