Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
