If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
