Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
