the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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