I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
