Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
