I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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