If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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