Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Randomize