also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
