ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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