You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
