I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
