For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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