I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
