i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
