Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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