brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
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