i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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