He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
