found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
