I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
