I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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