I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
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Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
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I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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