And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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