wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
