why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
