This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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