I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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