Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
