Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
