The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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