dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
