I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
