Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Houston, we have a squirter
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
