Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize