His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
