remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
