How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize