You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
