I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
