You just made me feel so damn special
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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