Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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