Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Randomize
