YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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