Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
high people should be assigned attendants
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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