the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
