i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
