once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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