i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
