the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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